Revive Us Again

     Holiday weekend is over and life starts up where it left off. There really is homework galore these days, but I just need to settle in and get with it. It was an incredible weekend that involved running around in the woods, stargazing on the lake, hiking muddy trails and exploring small, dark caves, early mornings coffee with a balcony view, and encouraging and convicting messages. 
     I know for a fact, that I've been a very apathetic Christian this year. I knew that, even as I continued on my way, telling myself that I could get by. When in reality, I knew I was falling further and further away. All along I knew what I needed to do, but I kept procrastinating (something I'm really very good at). This weekend I was really challenged about how I'm living. If we, as Christians, aren't enthusiastic about our faith, then how can we expect the lost to be enthusiastic? Revival is something this nation desperately needs. It's something the world desperately needs. 
     Before revival can sweep a nation, it has to start in individual's hearts. Revival has to start with me. Revival is the renewing of God's people. Over the weekend, one verse kept coming to my mind:

     "if My people who are called by My name will humble themselves, and pray and week My face, and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin and heal their land."  -2 Chronicles 7:14

I can dress up the outside, pretend like I'm doing fine, but if my heart isn't changed--it won't work. The Lord really drove that home to me. We had a prayer meeting Saturday night and, and as I sat there I begged the Lord to break my cold, cold heart. Then a brother mentioned this verse, and I couldn't stop the tears from streaming down my face. I asked the Lord to forgive me, to change me, and to revive me in His ways. You see, Jesus Christ is everything we're looking for and yet He is what we're running from at the same time. 
     Surrender scares us. We aren't sure if we really want to give Him 100% of our life, yet it is so worth it. There truly is NOTHING greater than serving the Savior. Once you have tasted the goodness of the Lord, you begin to disdain the very things you once pursued. Once we fall in love with Christ, the world begins to lose its charm. People often think that they have to clean themselves up, and fix themselves before they come to Christ. It's just the opposite! Come to Christ and HE will change you. He works from the inside out.


This song came on my ipod on the trek home, and I thought it was so appropriate.

pre-semester fears

     It's been awhile since I've written a regular post. Nowadays they're mostly about music, but that's not a terrible thing I guess. Another semester is right around the corner. I'm looking forward to class, yes, but I'm also actually terrified. The first day especially freaks me out. It involves leaving my comfort zone, and meeting a whole roomful of new people. Who do you even sit by on the first day? One would think that being in my senior year of college, I would have grown accustomed to this dizzying obstacle. Sadly, that is not the case. In my mind I'm already prepping myself, telling myself not to worry, and that it'll be fine. I'm also praying that the Lord would give me strength, and that I would be able to be a witness this semester also.
     It's easy for me to get caught up in worrying about myself, and what other people think of me. Lately I've actually been so self-conscious that I avoid certain people. (Any by certain I mean attractive, because why would an attractive person want to talk to me?) But putting that aside, I know that those thoughts are selfish and self-absorbed. Instead I want to be quick to consider how others might be feeling, what they might be worrying about, and try to put myself in their shoes. We all have a story to tell.
     Those are just a few pre-semester jitters. I'm sure they'll be over soon, and I'm sure there will be all kinds of crazy things that go on as well. I wish you all the best!

Always summer

Only one more week of summer left. Ah, man. One more week of crazy summer nights, catching fireflies at midnight, swimming through creeks at 2am, chasing sunsets, blaring music, eating ice cream, slurping slushies, skateboarding in the parking lot, and all those other crazy things. Did I mention french fries and shakes late at night? It's been a different summer for me. Honestly, I just stayed here and worked all the time! There was plenty of fun in between the work hours, and some weekend trips. No crazy destinations, though. I'm really looking forward to fall, as always. Also, it's my senior year of college. Wild. To kick off the fall semester, Yellowcard released some exciting news and a new song off their album! Super psyched for this new stuff.

( Here's the link for their new song: http://www.underthegunreview.net/2014/08/18/yellowcard-premiere-new-track-one-bedroom-push-back-lift-a-sail-release-date/ )

Aaand since summer is coming to a close, here's a few songs that I always jam out to at the beginning of fall semester.

Classic.



The title says all.



Yessss.

Like Us

When will people look at other people
and finally see them as people,
and not just material things.
When will we see their fragile soul?
Look past the outside, to see they are
so lost on the inside.
Realize that they are human,
hurting, feeling, reaching, dreaming--
when will we see 
they are just like us?

Music Mondays

Finals are here, guys. Only two more weeks left in the semester and I feel like I'm drowning in projects. So much to do! I've actually been listening to a lot of soundtracks lately, so that's what this music Monday will be all about. I hope you enjoy!


More Saving Mr. Banks because it never gets old.




From one of my favorite soundtracks.




Mmm this one gives me chills.




This movie has such a beautiful soundtrack. The first more than the other two!




Classic. Such a classic.




Oh, so beautiful.




Ghibli never disappoints when it comes to soundtacks.




Quality cover from one of the greatest game themes.

Music Mondays

Today was an incredibly cloudy, rainy, and hazy day. I love a good rainy day, but this one made me exceptionally sleepy. Sadly, the rain brought with it much cooler temps. Guess winter hasn't given up just yet. In honor of the weather, I thought I'd share my rainy day playlist with you all. Rainy days put me in a mellow mood. I hope you enjoy!


The title says it all.




Love, love, love this one.




Sort of "rediscovered" this one, and have been listening to it ever since.



Another classic.



Swim for your life.




Kingdom Hearts. No shame.



Lastly, I'm a sucker for soundtracks. Maybe next week I'll do a soundtrack theme!

who are you now?

when the music fades, and the light goes down
when the mask is put aside;
who are you now?

when you close your door
is it the closing cut?
when the scene fades to black
who are you left with?

when the day is done
and there's no one to impress
do you ever sit by yourself
all alone in quiet unrest?

do the tears ever spill
or do you hold on to them still?
when your guard is let go at last
who are you left with?

when your heart is laid bare
does it make you feel scared?
when the credits roll
who are you now?

Revive me

I've been doing a lot of thinking lately. Thinking about a lot of stuff that I had pushed to the back of my mind. Mainly I've been thinking about the way I've been living. I've gotten so caught up in wanting others to think that I'm "cool" and I'm afraid I haven't been a good witness for my Savior. I know we're only in March, but I thank the Lord that we're only in March, because honestly, I haven't been living for Him this year, but I've been living for myself. I've been aimlessly looking for "the next big thing" and not seriously considering my motives. Truthfully, I didn't want to address my motives, because I knew I would find them to be disgusting and horribly selfish.

I once told a good friend of mine that I was a very selfish person. I wanted someone else to know what I was like on the inside; what kind of monster was struggling within me. Well, this year he had gotten the best of me. I was so focused on myself that I'm afraid I hurt some of the friends close to me. I've been so self-centered that I've actually neglected relationships. Relationships with my family, my friends, and most importantly, my Savior. I can't help but ask: where have I gone? How did I come so far? It was one small step, one small lie led to another until I've come to find myself cold and in the dark. 

I've become calloused and apathetic, and I cry out to my Savior asking Him if I've come too far. Have I really blown it this time? Have I passed the point of no return? I'm begging please that He would revive me in His way. Over and over again, that's all I can think of. Revive me. Bring me back to life, Lord. Please bring me back to You. I don't want to live like this any more. I don't want to be cold and selfish. I want to live in His light and life. 

"Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me...." "...restore to me, the joy of Your salvation." --Psalm 51:10,12

That is my prayer tonight. Revive me, renew me, restore me. I'm thankful that God is a God of second chances. I'm thankful that even when I've given up on myself, He hasn't given up on me. Are there consequences for my sin? Absolutely. But I know that "whom the Lord loves, He chastens." (Hebrews 12:6). I want to know God more. I want to know more about Him, like one would want to know more about a friend. I want to learn from this, and draw closer to God through this. I don't want to continue on in apathy. 

music mondays

We can pretend it's Monday, right? (even though we're halfway through the week already). School and work have just kept me super busy. Spring break is already in just 3 weeks. I feel like I can't keep up! We've had snow for so long now, and today it finally got up into the 30s. Let me tell you, it was basically a heat wave. I drove home with my windows down and the sun roof open! (but wore long-sleeves of course). Anyway, here's a couple of songs for your week. Enjoy!

This one got popular super fast, but it's definitely a good one.



I'm a sucker for acoustics.



Not usually a country fan, but this song is beautiful.



Big fan of his music.



More acoustics. Also, I highly recommend checking out the entire Twenty One Pilots discography. Definitely one of my favorite bands!

music mondays

Music Monday is back! Time sure does fly. Anyways, lately I've really, really been enjoying Bastille and Atlas Genius. I guess I already posted some of their stuff, but I'd recommend checking out their discography! Quality stuff. Here's the posts for today. Enjoy!

mellow



love, love, love this song so much.



definitely a good one.



super fun vibes.



still waiting for this one to get popular.



aaaaaaand this last one is a winner!

flaws

Just a few months ago, I discovered the band Bastille. Since then I seem to be hearing their music everywhere I go! Not that I mind that in the least bit. However, it's hard to let go of songs that were close to your heart. Their song "Flaws" is absolutely beautiful. I especially love this live version. There's so much depth and honesty to the lyrics that I just really appreciate it. Not to mention, his voice plus the strings is breathtaking. Two favorite lines in this song. "You have always worn your flaws upon your sleeve, and I have always buried mine deep beneath the ground." The second favorite, "All of your flaws and all of my flaws, when they have been exhumed we'll see that we need them to be who we are, without them we'd be doomed." Those two lines are just so perfect. Flaws are what make a person unique. Everyone struggles, everyone goes through hard times, but everyone has it a little different. I consider my issue with speaking words to be a flaw of mine. Because of it, I feel as if I can never communicate properly. I hope someday I will find someone who won't give up on me, but rather, will pry the words from right between my clenched teeth. 

the secret life

     Tonight I took my younger brother and sister out to see The Secret Life Of Walter Mitty. Highly recommended. It was so beautiful and breathtaking, and the story line was incredibly unique. Not to mention, the cinematography was top notch. Anyways, the movie really got me thinking, and left me totally inspired. To be alive. To live, fully, and adventurously. Walter Mitty tends to zone out a lot, creating fantastic daydreams inside his head of what could have happened, or what he could have said. Ah, it really got me. There are so many things I know I've left unsaid. I imagine that all the time, actually. But I hang onto those words and tend to let that moment pass away. 

     I make up for my inadequacy with words. Words, words, words. Words on paper, and not words spoken. In my mind it's something I'm good at. Because of this I write on anything and everything, anywhere and anytime. It is stupid? Maybe. But it makes me feel a little bit better about things, because those words are something they can't see. Yet it's so frustrating to not be able to say what I want to say. That's are something I've struggled with all my life. I've decided that I'm so quiet, not because I have nothing to say, but because I have too much to say. There are so many thoughts swirling around in my head and I don't know how to process all of them, to sift through and find the right words for that exact moment. Either that or I know what to say, but I'm afraid to voice it out loud. I thought I'd gotten past that struggle, but in certain moments I know I totally haven't.

     That's why I really enjoyed this movie. To see someone become who they always wanted to be; to see that someone was able to overcome those fears and to really live. I appreciated that. If you have a moment to spare, I'd say the movie was definitely worth watching. I mean, I'm already ready to see it again! On a side note, the soundtrack is equally fantastic. I'll leave you with a little quote I really enjoyed. 

"I live by the ABCs of life: Adventurous, Bold, and Creative."                        That's how I want to live.

winter scene

     Snowstorms are unlike any other storm. The snow comes heavily, yet softly. Whirling around in the sky as if someone had picked up a snow globe and shaken it hard. The sky is white, the ground is white, the trees are heavily laden with white. The world is all so soft and frozen, and oh so quiet. The stillness of winter amazes me, and I find it absolutely beautiful.
      People talk about summer and wanting it to come quickly. I just wish they'd slow down and take in the beauty of winter. Even in spite of the cold, the air is so clean and refreshing. Just a deep breath of the cold, and I feel as if everything dirty on the inside has been swept away. It makes my heart swell, and I stand on tiptoes just itching to catch that next breath of fresh air.
     I want it to take me away, that ice cold wind that whistles through the dead trees. I'm one of those people who hates to see the fresh snow trampled on, melting, and dirty. I wish the snow could stay clean and pure forever, but winter doesn't work that way. Each  individual snowflake glints and gleams in the fading sunlight. Capturing a burst of gold and dazzling white diamonds. Did you ever see anything so lovely? Yet so many people don't notice, and winter goes unappreciated.
     Winter can be harsh, and it can be fierce. But there's a beauty there in the harshness. There's a rare exquisiteness to the bitterly cold landscape. Don't let it pass you by. Don't let the breathtaking beauty of the winter scene pass go unobserved. I know it's cold, but take a minute to marvel at the beauty of the snow. The way the snowflakes drift gently to the ground, the way the cold air feels like cleansing for the soul, and the majestic pines shrouded in clouds of white, and the glimmer of the snowflakes as the catch the rays of golden light.
   

passing time

I'm always amazed at how fast time passes. How is it 2014 already? It's just blows my mind. Time has really been on my mind lately. Our time on this earth is so short and so precious. It goes by in just the blink of an eye, really. I worry so much about the future, and how I'm going to pay for school, what I'm going to do when I finish school, and many other things. This year, however, I want it to be different. This year has the potential to be the best year ever, spiritually and physically. With all that being said, I want to share something with you that adequately sums up my feelings. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.

"It's so easy to get caught up in this life and the hustle and bustle of everything. It's easy to get caught up into thinking that we're in control, and that this life is all about us. I'm very guilty of this kind of thinking myself. The flesh wants to think it's in control; it tries to tell us that we know better than God, but how untrue it is. Whenever I try to do things on my own and in my own strength, I end up stressed, exhausted, and worn out. What's the answer? "Be still and know that I AM God." It's more of Him, and less of me. 

     Today I finally finished a book I had started long ago, and there were some truths that just really hit home. These truths were about how God is in control, and i am not.

"Sabbath (Sunday) is not so much about a day off as it is a "day up"--a day to remember that He is God and we are not. Without Sabbath, we forget who we are and lose sight of who He is, leaving us to carry the weight of the world on our shoulders. When there is no Sabbath in our lives we become intoxicated by the lie that the sum of our lives depends on our effort alone. We get to the place where we truly believe that the outcome of the story fully depends on us. But in truth, we are tiny, limited beings. Our biggest and best efforts still accomplish far less than what Go can do in us, through us--or without us--in one breath."

"Let's face it, stillness is not exactly easy to come by in today's culture. We are far more likely to be restless, anxious, fearful, worrisome, and busy. But God's invitation is to be still--and to find again, in the calm pause, the assurance that He is, in fact, God. His plans are undeterred, and with or without us He is going to receive glory from all peoples on the face of the earth. But how do we find stillness when finances are tight, tragedy overwhelms, the kids seem out of control, nations are at war, relationships are strained, and there's just too much left to do at the end of the day? It's simple. "Be still and know that I AM God. The only place true stillness of the soul can be found on Planet Earth is in the super-close proximity to the God of all Creation. Our peace of mind is found in the assurance that God is present wherever we are."

I'm thankful that i am small, and that God is big. He is in control, and I can rest in Him and His promises. For as He said, "Come unto Me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest." "