What Is Love?

Another year, another Valentine's Day. I get a lot of mixed reviews about this holiday in particular. It seems that people either love it or hate it. And then there's those random people that seem as if they really couldn't care less (though secretly they really do care). It does make me wonder why we have this day set aside to tell people "I love you," and show them that they're cared for. Um, if no one minds me asking, why don't we do this everyday? Time is short as is and we won't live forever. So why do we wait to tell those people we care about how we truly feel? Why not put everything on the line and just come right out and tell them? In our society today the words "I love you' are thrown around carelessly. The true meaning of love has been trampled and cast away. The Greek word for love is "agape." Agape love is the purest form of true love; its a selfless, unconditional love. There's thousands of love songs out there that constantly say "I need you." While that's all well in good, if it were true love they'd be willing to sacrifice their happiness just to see that other person happy. That's what true love really is. It would be me putting others above myself and putting their needs above my own. Love like that is hard to come by on this earth. Which is why I'm so thankful for the One who loves me ALWAYS. Even if I've fallen so far and made so many mistakes. Even if I push Him away and try to stumble on on my own. Even in my selfishness, anger, and pride, He loves me. He loves me for me.

In this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation (sacrifice) for our sins. 1 John 4:10

These Are The Nights

Another sleepless night. Another night of tossing and turning. I sigh restlessly as I kick the covers off and roll over to check the time. With a groan the phone is set back down and the ceiling suddenly becomes immensely interesting. Funny how that works. It seems as though everything has been thought about, wondered about, and decided about. Yet still sleep won't come. It's not insomnia or anything, its just restlessness. The blinds are yanked open and a breathtaking scene of a wondrous wintry night comes into view. Pushing open the window a sharp, cold breeze hits my face and washes over my skin. I breath the night air in deeply as the cold seems to seep to my very core. Why is cold air so refreshing?? I'm not really sure why but it leaves me feeling suddenly revived and peaceful. I stick my head out the window as far as it will go and gaze up at the shimmering stars that grace the velvety, dark-blue sky. The bare, black tree branches sway slightly in the gentle wind that whooshes through the empty spaces. It's all so breathtakingly beautiful. And its something that I wish I could just stare at forever. The ever white snow glistens as the pale moonlight scatters shadows among gently creaking trees. There's nothing like a winter night to make the world seem magical. Grabbing my jacket from the end of my bed I push the window open further and sit down on the sill. I breathe in deeply, wishing I could just drink the air. I love these nights. The nights where you can take in a winter's night and feel as if you've suddenly entered another world. The nights where the beauty of creation takes your breath away. The nights where the stars suddenly remind you just how small we really are. The nights where the silence seems to fill you with pure joy. These are the nights I love best.

Sleddin' Time

Oh my goodness! It's gorgeous outside!!! No one has been out today due to the "catastrophic" winter storms today. They say we might even lose power. Honestly though that'd be pretty exciting. We've got plenty of blankets and a wood burning fire.....bring it on! The sleet/freezing rain has stopped and they're calling for snow. You can tell by looking at the sky that the snow is definitely coming. It's absolutely breathtaking! The hazy grey sky, ice glistening on the trees, and everything buried under a blanket of perfect white snow. Ahhhhh can I go outside now?? Tomorrow I really want to go ice sledding. Today I just kinda stayed home and enjoyed the snow day but tomorrow I plan on enjoying our winter wonderland! Night sledding is the best, just saying. I went last year with some of my friends and it was incredible! (minus the slight injuries of course). I wish we had two feet of snow like Chicago does....that'd be so cool. Oh well, I'll take what we get (:

The Perfect Excuse

Do you ever lay there at night, staring at the ceiling, exhausted but unable to sleep? You just can't seem to sleep because your brain won't shut down. Thousands of thoughts swirling in your mind, demanding your time and attention. And then you get so frustrated you just want to cry. Its so easy to fall apart at night because nobody is watching. During the night you're free to let the words just pour out all while during the day you can feel them looking at you, wanting to know if you're okay. Your response? You put on your biggest smile, laugh, and say "Yeah, I'm fine. Just tired" Perfect excuse right? Of course. But when they turn away, do you ever feel the words trembling on your tongue? They press against your lips and you're just dying for someone to look you in the eye and say "You're lying." And the reason you want them to ask, is because you can't bring yourself to tell. But then you wonder, will there ever be that kind of person? Or maybe one day we'll get up the courage. Maybe one day we'll finally be able to let our walls fall to the ground and just let all that we've been holding in out. We just have to keep on, to keep moving even when we feel like falling. Don't give up! You're not alone in this fight.

Favorite songs of the week.
Times--by Tenth Avenue North
Don't Give Up--Green River Ordinance
Undone--FFH
Love Story Meets Viva la Vida--Jon Schmidt

Swivel Chairs

One of life's small joys are swivel chairs. Seriously. They're just so much fun! Everyone should sit in one. Even better than a regular swivel are the swivels with wheels! (And by swivel, I mean the chairs that spin around). Then of course there's racing madly up and down hallways with these chairs. If you've never raced in one before.....I highly recommend it. It's good to do something zany every know and then. It keeps us laughing and it keeps our friends on their toes.
The point? Well, I don't really have one. Honestly the subject just came to mind because I'm currently sitting in a large swivel chair with wheels. Oh, and listening to music of course. I love music. Do you ever feel like it just perfectly describes you in a moment? It doesn't have to be a song with words, I love instrumental stuff too. Like Seagull Orchestra. Though my current favorite(s) are Oh Darling by Plugin Stereo. And Endlessly by Green River Ordinance (:

Fear

When people ask you what you're afraid of.....what's your first thought? Do you think of spiders, snakes, crawly things of any sort, heights, small spaces, dying, or darkness? Or maybe you don't think of stuff like that. If you're like me, then the things that come to your mind aren't really things you can see. Things like: being alone, failing, getting hurt, letting people down, falling, not being good enough, or maybe afraid that no one could ever love someone like you. A big one for me is not being good enough. Not being able to measure up. That fear holds me back sometimes from trying new things. I always feel like there's some bar that's been set, and I stare up at it as my hands get sweaty and my mouth goes dry. I feel like its so high and that there's no way I could possibly get over it. And then sometimes you feel like you can't ever do anything right and that you'll always mess up no matter what. But that's not true. No, I'm not perfect. Yes, I'll mess up. But I won't ever give up. So I've got to keep trying and keep moving on. Even when fear tries to hold me down. Courage isn't the absence of fear; its being afraid and choosing to go on. So I'll keep going. Never giving up. And I'm so thankful that I have Someone who will be with me through it all (:

Drawings

Just some random stuff I've drawn. I hope you like it!