Written Words

I've always been a writer. I don't mean what most people think of as a writer, I mean writer in that its always been easier for me to write out my thoughts. I have a hard time saying what I really want to say and it never comes out quite right. And then I wonder: Did they take that the right way? Should have said that differently? Did they get what I really meant? It's awfully frustrating. The words do come out right sometimes but usually I end up feeling foolish and wishing I'd just kept my mouth shut. It's something I tend to do a lot. But whenever I write the words flow out smoothly and I don't have to worry about sounding stupid. And I'll write on whatever I can get my hands on. I actually have this box hidden in my room that has hundreds of random scraps of paper, torn out notebook pages, even little sticky notes inside of it. On all that paper is several finished songs, even more unfinished, bits and pieces and chunks of stories I'm working on, a few poems, and a bunch of random writings in which I ramble (like what I'm doing now). There's so many things I can't bring myself to say out loud and yet I can put them on paper. That's why I love writing so much. But just because it's easier for me to express myself with pencil and paper doesn't mean I shouldn't keep trying to do so with spoken words. One day I want to be able to get my train of thought out without having to resort to paper or just not say anything at all.