Delighting

I like rainy days, hot cups of coffee, and slower music. Those three things just go together hand in hand so well. I've been very selfish as of late, and I would just really like to apologize if that's come across in the blog. I never intended for that to happen. Because of that I just wanted to share something that the Lord has been teaching me. Also, in the greek, Lord means absolute master. Even though I try to live my own life sometimes, the Lord is the absolute master of my life, and I really want Him to be.

Psalm 37: He will NOT forsake His saints.

v.4 --"Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart."

Do I delight/take pleasure in the Lord? Is He my source of joy?
What are my desires?  -good education  -good job  -good relationships  -being a light and witness to others

v.5--"Commit your way to the Lord, trust in Him, and He WILL act."

-Committing means "handing over and walking away." When we commit, we have given the matter up to more capable hands, and God will act.

Don't fret, don't worry, don't stress
Do trust, do commit, do wait/be still

v. 23-- "The steps of a man are established by the Lord, when he delights in His way."

There it is again! Delighting in the Lord. Really, what could be more delightful then Jesus? Absolutely nothing. That's something I find myself learning over and over again. I'm rather forgetful, really (:

v. 24--"..though he fall, he shall not be cast headlong, for the Lord upholds his hand."

I will stumble, I will fall, but that doesn't mean I'm done for. It is such an encouragement to me, to know that the Master Creator of the Universe, and Lord over all, holds my hand. When you're holding someone's hand, and you stumble, they are there to help you up back on your feet. (2 Corinthians 4:8-9)

New Life

Just wanted to share a little something I found that really hits home for me. I like it so much.
Borrowed from Adam Young's blog:

You do not lose your own personality when by faith you take your place with Christ in death. On the contrary, a transformation takes place within your personality. You simply come under new management.

"Therefore if any person is ingrafted in Christ, he is a new creation; the old, previous moral and spiritual condition has passed away. Behold, the fresh and new has come." 2 Cor 5:17

This new life which has begun is the Life of Jesus and your personality becomes His means of expression. He is “all the while effectually at work in you, energizing and creating in you the power and desire, both to will and to work for His good pleasure and satisfaction and delight." Phil 2:13

When you are prepared for the Lord Jesus Christ to change your heart, you will not want to be anyone else. You will be far too excited discovering what He intends you to be.

W. Ian Thomas

untitled

      It's funny how you notice things late at night. It's like your thoughts, which have been running all day, finally catch up to you. At night, there's nothing to “keep your mind off things” so you end up thinking about things. People are so much more than they seem. There is so much underneath their surface, and I know I say that a lot, but I feel like I keep finding that out again and again. I'm so guilty of looking at someone and instantly putting them in a category. For instance, I saw a guy who was maybe 20 or 21, driving a shiny new Nissan. In that second I saw him I thought “rich, pretty boy.” Terrible, aren't I? I felt guilty for thinking that. Maybe there's trouble at home, maybe his parents fight a lot and driving is his way of escape. Maybe he has an older brother that went off and hasn't been heard from since. I don't know why I think of people as just another face sometimes. Because I know that when they look at me, I don't want them to stick me in a category right away, for I know the turmoil I carry within. I want them to see past this stupid facade I put up. This mask I wear isn't me, and I just wish they knew that.

Usually my blog posts start out as an untitled document on my laptop. I got to thinking, my life is a little like that. Currently, it's untitled. There's so much I want to see, so much I want to say, so much I want to do. Where do I even begin? I begin one step at a time. One step in that forward direction. Just wanted to encourage you guys to keep pressing on, keep moving forward, and don't give up. Sorrow is but for a night, but joy comes in the morning (Psalm 30:5) Goodnight!  

Captured

Guys, it's been a long time, I know. Anyways, I'm pretty wiped out tonight, but wanted to share this song with you. I just want to listen to it over and over and over and over and over and over! See? (:



The lyric video is fantastic. When it switches to starry night sky? Ahh so perfect. Formally part of David Crowder Band, they are now The Digital Age! Check em' out (;

Acoustics

So while attacking my list of books to read this summer, I stumbled across a quote from the book North of Beautiful (Such a good read). Anyways, it goes like this,

"for a guy to know me so deeply and truly, that we were only really complete when we were together. That I could talk to, go on wild tangents with, make obtuse references, and he would divine my every meaning before I knew what I was trying to say myself."

Sappy, right? Possibly. (But I like it). I don't know, it just fits with the hazy thoughts I've had in the back of my head. The memo pad on my cellphone is probably the most used app. I feel like I'm always writing stuff down! Whether it's my words, someone else's words, things to look up, ect., ect.

On another note, summer has been fantastic so far. Busy with work mainly, but a few weekend trips.Mainly I just love the warmth, the sunshine, the open windows, the coffee on the porch, and all the smells and summer foods! So wondrous. This week has been crazy busy, and I'm pretty wiped out, but I will leave you all with a song. Talking about Relient K a few days ago, I've been listening to their whole discography. So many memories! I then rediscovered their acoustic stuff. Ahhh man. That is my favorite. Something about acoustic songs, I don't know, they're almost dreamy. If that makes sense. So here it is (:



Also, this one:

Mhmm

Totally pre-ordered Relient K's new album today. I am seriously excited for this!!! I heard this song today....



aaaaand I haven't stopped playing it since. Relient K has been one of my favorite bands since junior high. Such good stuff. Their Mhmm album is a much loved favorite, and I think this song will join that list (;

Inner Thoughts

There's something immensely scary about the unknown. We want to know who we are, where we belong, and what we should do. Currently my brain has been scrambled, and I'm constantly thinking about what I should be doing with my life. More than anything, I want to live a life that brings glory and honor to God. I want to be a light and a witness, and I want to turn the world upside down to be right side up. I've just really been asking the Lord what He would have me to do. I can't help but wonder if maybe I'm in the wrong major....I don't know, just these whirling thoughts that have been going on for days. Here's some of the scattered things I've written this week. They're a glimpse inside my constant flow of thought.

I don't know how many times I've said this, but I'm a different person when I write. The words make sense. They flow. They rise, they fall, they stare at me in black and white. I can go back and correct things, rearrange the fragment thoughts into complete sentences. It's not easy to do such things mid-conversation. I just want to talk the way I write. I want someone to know I have these words inside of me, and that I'm not silent because I have nothing to say, but I'm silent because I'm brimming with words. Words that want to be spoken, to have life breathed into them. They want to dance across the air in such a way that leaves breathtaking images to the listeners imagination. People don't talk like that anymore. I wish they did, oh, how I wish they did. Is it stupid though? These thoughts of mine? I feel like people are always attracted to the outspoken girls, who have no problem speaking their mind. I want to speak my mind sometimes, but I reign my tongue back in. I have nothing interesting to say. I tell myself. Nothing that they would care to hear. It's not important anyway.

I'm afraid of someone wanting to get to know me; wanting to see what lies inside. I'm afraid they'll be disappointed by what they will find. I'm afraid of opening myself up that far, and letting them see the darkness in my heart.

Maybe I'm doing it all wrong. Instead of writing I should be designing. But I design with my words, I, I don't know if I can design with art. Am I a failure? I'm not who I wish to be. I feel like a shell, and the real me is still hiding somewhere inside, afraid to step out into the light. It's been almost twenty years. Is is too late to change? My heart hasn't stopped racing since who knows when, my thoughts are all a tangled mess. I ache somewhere deep inside, a place where I can't reach. Lord, what would You have me do?