100 times

Scrolling through itunes, I suddenly realized that this is my most played song. It's basically played 100 times more than my second most played song. I love the lyrics, and this song never ceases to remind me that God is strong enough, and even when I'm at the end of my rope, He can hold me together. I'm never too far away for Him to reach me. And for that I am so incredibly, tremendously thankful.

Forgotten Words

I never wanted anyone to see what I had written. I still hate going back and rereading my papers, even though all my professors tell me to, and when the paper is graded and given back to me, I put it in a drawer, refusing to look at anything but the grade. I was always afraid of what they would say, afraid they wouldn't like what I had written, and I knew that if they didn't like what I had written, I would be too ashamed to write again. That's why I like this blog so much. I can write whatever and no one knows it's me. But while finishing up homework, and finding just one more thing to do on the computer, I saw my sister had tagged me in a note on Facebook.  As soon as I had started reading it, I couldn't help the tears that streamed down my face. She had found an old paper of mine, and thinking it was hers, she started to read it. It was written about someone we both dearly loved, and lost. I couldn't stop crying as my sister shared her memories, and I'm still shaking. And then she thanked me, thanked me! for writing that paper, that I thought had been all but forgotten. To think that my words could have so much meaning, to evict such powerful memories that had been waiting to be set free. I'm so grateful, and I feel so unworthy, for in the memories she had written I could feel my own words fade in comparison. I know words are powerful, but I never thought my words could ever carry so much weight. I wrote that paper almost two years ago......but now I'm wondering, maybe, maybe I could reread my old paper, and remember what should never have been forgotten in the first place.

Just Tired

"I'm tired, pop. The kind of tired you can't sleep off."

That quote really got to me today. I feel like this last month has been really rough, and I'm just so worn out. It's like being a swimmer caught in the undertow, and I'm fighting to get a breath of air. But by God's grace, I'm pressing on, for I know that His strength IS sufficient for me.

Up too late

I don't know if it's the fact that it's almost two in the morning, or it's just because I'm so exhausted, but I am seriously bawling my eyes out over an anime series right now. I have honestly never cried like this for anime, but this show is seriously sweet and so sad. It's called Clannad, and one of my best friends introduced it to me. Let me tell you, I've only gotten through the first ten episodes and I'm dying over here. With work early in the morning, I should be sleeping, but I made the mistake of going for a run around midnight, and I'm kind of wired right now, but I'm sure to crash sooner or later. I'm a night owl anyways, though, I love being up at night, and running outside at night. But this is when I wish there was someone around to shut off the power and make me go to bed or something. "Just one more episode," I tell myself. So here I am, sprawled on the floor, shivering, because I can't find my jacket, and yet I still keep going. So excuse me while I go find my jacket and the box of tissues.....

P.S. I'll let you know how the rest of the night turns out, maybe, come daylight!

P.P.S.
I don't know why, but this song makes me happy.

I will wait

Waiting isn't easy. No matter how many times we have to wait, it is never any easier than it was the last time.  We find ourselves waiting a lot. Waiting to see if the paycheck comes in, waiting in lines, waiting to hear what the doctor says, waiting for the right time to say/do something, and the list goes on. We like to get things when we want them, and that usually consists of "right now." We want to be satisfied immediately, but usually it is far better to wait. Waiting helps us to grow, and, especially when shopping is involved, helps us see if we really want it or not. My dad likes to tell a story about what his father used to tell him when he was little. His father, my grandfather, used to say "Whenever you asked for something, we weren't just saying no, but we were waiting to see if you really wanted it, depending on whether or not you asked for it more than once." That's good wisdom right there. There's a verse in Romans 8 that people are familiar with, but most people only know the first part, "And we know that all things work together for good." and the verse continues "to them that love God, and to those who are called according to His purpose,"  Romans 8:28. Paul is encouraging the believers that even though they might be going through some hard times, the storm won't last forever because all things work together for good. Not just some things, not just the little things, but ALL things. It's always nice to know that the waiting won't last forever! There's a light at the end of the tunnel, and I will wait.

P.S. Borrowing the Mumford and Sons title, I thought I might as well share the song.

Finally Fall

Hey guys! It's finally fall! October is here, and with it comes so many wonderful fall things. It's time for bonfires, cozy sweaters, boots, scarves, toasted marshmellows  apple crisp, apple cider, crunchy leaves, vibrant colors, crisp air, clear blue skies, hayrides, over-sized hoodies, fleece blankets, football games, pumpkin pie, corn mazes, candy corn, carmel corn, homemade chex mix, and so much more! Honestly, my list could go on and on and on. There's just so much to love about autumn and all that comes with it. So, here's to a happy fall!

P.S. I realize this song came out a couple years ago, but I just really, really like it ^_^