Disappointments

Have you ever had those moments where you're really, really looking forward to something, and you've been counting down the days till you leave/the day arrives? But then, something comes up and those plans fall through, and you're left feeling with a vague ache inside the hollow of your chest. What is that feeling? Disappointment. It's when you were SO looking forward to something, but that something couldn't happen. Needless to say, the point of this story applies to me, and I brought it up because we all deal with countless disappointments in life. Whether it's not getting asked out by the guy you like, a road trip couldn't be taken, or plans with a good friend ended up being canceled. There are all kinds of disappointments, and we run in to them on a daily basis. There are little disappointments, and big disappointments (we didn't get that job offer we were hoping for). So how do we deal with them?

This weekend I was really looking forward to leaving town with my sister, and head to a Bible conference that my uncle hosts every year. It's a great weekend of fellowship, friends, and really good teaching from the Word of God. I know that's a small disappointment compared to some, but I always really enjoy that weekend. But due to a winter storm, and bad icy road conditions, I won't be taking that trip. I was crushed. I had planned my schedule accordingly, I had gotten my homework done, and I had even halfway packed. At first I started to cry, to be honest, and then I sucked up those tears and told myself to get over it! (denial). I asked God "why?' but no sooner had those thoughts entered my head, when I was struck by the thought that "God is still in control." I don't know why God wants me to stay home this weekend, but I know that He has my best interest at heart. Even though I don't understand the "why" part now, someday I will know. I am reminded of His promises, and how His thoughts are higher than my thoughts.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you, and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future." --Jeremiah 29:11

I can't see the future, but I know the One who holds the future in His hands. God is a faithful God, and I know that I am to walk by faith and not by sight. It's easy to trust someone when it's light out and you can see, but it's much harder when it's dark and you have to fully trust in them. That's something that God has been teaching me lately, and even though it still hurts a bit, I have peace knowing that He is Sovereign.

"In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while, if need be, you have been grieved by various trials, that the genuineness of your faith, being much more precious than gold that perishes, though it is tested by fire, may be found to praise, honor, and glory at the revelation of Jesus Christ." --1 Peter 1:6-7

May my trials bring glory to my Lord and Savior.

Perusing

So whenever I'm working on my design projects, or homework in general, really, I can't help but peruse Youtube and I find all kinds of incredible songs. There are so many unknown, or just beginning artists, and I'm really taken in by their sound. It's new, it's different, and there's a lot of raw emotion there that the stuff on the radio completely lacks. I'm not saying "don't listen to the radio," but it's just my personal preference to plug in my ipod, or my own mixed CD. Regardless of your views on this, here are a couple great songs I've stumbled upon today. Enjoy! 

The intro had me hooked. 


I'm a sucker for acoustic. 



Great sound. 



More acoustics. Such a great, great song, guys. 

My kind of music.

Find Me

That feeling you get when you're lost in a crowd. My heart starts racing, my throat goes dry, and I get this overwhelming urge to run away and hide. "I don't want them to see me." I think to myself as I cower inside. So many people, so many faces. Why is it such a fight to stay? I can't help but think of Iris by The Goo Goo Dolls. "I don't want the world to see me, cause I don't think that they'd understand." Do other people feel this way? A complacent look on the outside, but on the inside I'm trembling. I have a secret though. And I square my shoulders, and lift my head as I sweep over the faces pretending I'm looking for someone I know. I briefly meet people's gaze with a hint of a smile, but they don't really know how afraid I really am. 

The lyrics, "It took awhile for you to find me," mean a lot to me. Because it means that even though it took awhile, someone still took the time to look. 

Just Might

Do you ever have that song you just wish someone would sing to you? That song would have the perfect lyrics, and you can't help but imagine someone special singing it just for you. Let's just say I think that a lot, haha. There are several songs I wish someone would sing to me, but there's one in particular. I mean, I know what I'm like on the inside, but nobody else does, except for my Savior of course. But if a guy sang this to me, I might just marry him on the spot. 





Or this one. 

Long Days and Drives

You know it's been a long day when you're getting ready for bed, and while busy thinking about work tomorrow, you accidentally put on your khaki's instead of your sweats. Oops. This is a sure sign that I am in need of sleep, and my heavy eyelids agree. On a side note, I realized today that, I love to just jump in my car and drive off, somewhere, no planned route or anything. I like to take the back roads and see where they go, explore places I haven't been before, and I just really, really like to drive. I like to watch the scenery roll past, and driving is a good way to think things through, and what not. It's calming really. Unless you are the kind of person who likes to drive fast all the time, but usually ends up stuck behind slow people. Ah well, such is life (: 

A song for you guys: 

Another Semester

Well, another semester begins. Honestly, I'm actually super excited about this semester because I'm taking more core classes (that actually have to do with my major) as opposed to just gen eds. This morning went really well, and I think it's going to be an absolute blast. I was always that weird kid that liked school anyway. I mean, I love breaks and not doing school, but I like school too. One of the girls in my class is actually big into anime too, so that was really nice. It made me feel like "I'm not the only one!" which is always a plus. Haha. I'm headed out this afternoon to pick up some art supplies so I'm pretty psyched. I love buying art supplies! It just makes me feel happy. If you've started school, or start school next week, I wish you the best of luck! And I'll just leave you with a song(:

Beautiful Morning

The first sunrise was a success! I actually stayed awake all night, and finally went to catch a couple hours of sleep around 8:30. Sadly though, it was pretty cloudy over here this morning, but the sky was tinged a beautiful pink, and the snow began to glow as a few rays of sun tried to break through the clouds. It was perfect. It was early, but perfect.

First Sunrise

I cannot believe at how fast 2012 seemed to fly by. They say the years go faster the older that you get, and I have found those words to be very true. Looking back at all the memories, I can see how I've grown and changed. I am truly blessed in this life, and sometimes I'm amazed at how gracious God is to me. There are lessons that I have learned, and lessons that I know I will still be learning next year too. I've learned more about God, and grown closer in my walk with Him. I've grown closer to my family, and have learned to cherish the time I have with them. I am continually realizing that life is short, and I shouldn't take for granted the things I have. I wish everyone the very best this coming year. Right now I'm trying to keep myself awake to watch the first sunrise of the new year. I don't have anyone to watch it with, so if you are up and in the area, feel free to pop on over! And when that sun rises on the first day of this new year, you make a wish. I get ridiculously excited about little things like this, the only hard part is trying to stay awake for it! If you are wondering why in the world I would stay up to watch the sunrise, watch this. Now that right there is an episode from the first anime I ever read/watched all the way through. (It's definitely worth watching, and if you don't do subtitles, they have ones where they speak in English). And that pretty much explains the first sunrise.I wish you all the best this 2013, and a Happy New Year!

It's finally here, this brand new year,

the old has gone and a new one has begun. 

New choices to make, new risks to take,

Love to be given, and love to be lost.

The year dawns bright and clear,

and hope is on the horizon.

We want that fresh start; to begin anew,

to really live and put the past to rest. 

We'll live a little differently, try a little harder

love a little stronger, and hold on longer.

We'll laugh, we'll live, striving more for kindness,

we'll make friends, learn lessons, and practice forgiveness. 

May you come to know the Savior,

and of the love He has for you.

For this brand new day is dawning bright,

as the old year fades away like night.

~by me~