Because of Him

      Sometimes I spend so much time wishing I could anybody else, that I forget just how truly blessed I am. I may not be the perfect image I want to be, but let's face it, I'll never be perfect. The thing is, I was created to be me, and not anybody else. My mama always told me that no one else could be me, and that God put me here for a very special purpose. I catch myself thinking, “really?” I look inside of me and all I see are my faults, my weaknesses, and my sin, and I wonder how I could be used for anything. But that's the amazing part. God can use anybody who is willing. It's not about me being perfect, it's about me being willing to let God work in my life. I get so caught up in thinking about me, myself, and I, and I forget to look beyond my own self, and my own selfish desires. I don't want to be like that.

     I'm proud and selfish. Maybe I don't show it, but I see it on the inside, and I hide it because I don't want my friends and family to know. Even though I can hide it from them, I can't hide it from God. For He knew me even before I was born, and He created me in His own image. He knows me inside and out, and better than I know myself, and in spite of it all, He loves me. Like in Romans 5:7-8, “For one will scarcely die for a righteous person—though perhaps for a good person one would even dare to die—but God shows His love for us (me), in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”

It blows my mind that God would love me enough to send His only Son, Jesus Christ, to take my place on the cross. He endured the mocking, the beatings, the shame, and the pain, all for my sake. Jesus hung there on the cross, utterly alone. He cried out, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken Me?” He was crying out, not to His Father, but to God the Creator. He cried out and asked “why?” but there was no answer. He took my place in the darkness, alone and with no answer. That should have been me, left alone. There was no one to comfort Him, and no one to pity Him.

     So when I start feeling sorry for myself, and thinking that I “deserve” something, I remember this. I don't even deserve to take my next breath, but because of the love of God, I am able to breathe, and to live. And this is the reason I live. To be used by Him, to bring glory and honor to my King, and to give Him the worship He deserves.

 

Late night procrastination

This is one of the songs that's keeping me awake while I work on homework tonight! This is also what I get for procrastinating......I always tell myself "No more late nights. Get yourself to bed on time." On time being like 10:30, but of course that rarely happens. As I've said before, I do my best thinking late at night. It's when songs come to mind, story ideas pop up, writers block goes away, and I can't stop thinking. Sometimes that's a bad thing though. Music always helps me study, well, that and Mountain Dew. I think it's about time I said goodnight though, I can barely keep my eyes open any more!

Just twenty seconds

What if you had a chance at speaking your thoughts and expressing yourself while remaining totally anonymous? There are so many things we would be able to say, knowing that no one would know who we really are. I'm the girl who sits quietly in class, and the girl who has so much on her mind that she doesn't even know what to say. Sometimes I'd love to be able to blurt out my feelings, and to say what I think, but I'm so afraid of saying the wrong thing that I just keep my mouth shut. But I am getting better! Do you ever feel like what you want to say the most is always the hardest thing to say? I can't help but think of the quote, “All it takes is twenty seconds. Just twenty seconds of insane, embarrassing courage. That's all you need.” It's honestly true. And honestly speaking, I should take my own advice and try it. I want to change. I don't want to be afraid anymore.

A day of love

Well, today's the day. The day that people either welcome or refuse to accept. Ahhh, it's Valentine's Day. Any exciting plans for the day?? I just found out yesterday that I don't have to go into work today! So I'll be enjoying a lovely french toast brunch with hot coffee. I did have class this morning, so the good thing is I'm already up and showered, which is always a plus. Other than that I'll just be spending my time with the ones I love: my family and friends! While browsing on Pinterest, I stumbled across these cute little guys! I haven't seen them in ages, but my sister and I always loved them. They are a bit emo, but they're super cute. Happy Valentine's Day everyone! I hope you enjoy the day whether you're single or not! And let's not forget that we don't need to just tell those we care about that we love them today, but we can tell them again and again everyday.

 

 

Proportions

There's something about flying that suddenly changes the way I see the world. When I'm down on the ground just driving along, the planes overhead look very, very small. But once you're in a plane, you realize just how immense they are, and just how tiny the cars and ground are below. Gazing down, I couldn't help but wonder why we like to feel so big and important. I personally love the feeling I get when I'm out in the country under a vast canopy of endless sky and stars. It sort of puts things into proportion for me, as I'm suddenly looking through a different point of view. It's like being in another world of brilliant blue and white and I just want to reach out and wrap the air around myself. If only it were possible. I always wished I could fly, and I guess the airplane is as close as I'll get (: