Merely a facade

So last night was, well, not exactly the best night I have ever had. I couldn't stop tossing and turning, wishing that I could just shut my brain off and sleep. There was a lot on my mind, and a lot I was worrying about. And suddenly this question popped into my head: Why is it so hard for us to voice our doubts and fears? Even as I asked that question though, I realized I already knew the answer to it. I know why it's so hard. We do it because we don't want others to know what's going on inside. We won't want them to know that we don't really have it all together. It's merely a facade, as we put on our own parade, unwilling to let anyone see behind this masquerade. Even now I can think of so many things I haven't told anyone. No, they're not exactly deep, dark secrets (though there are one or two of those), but they're definitely feelings and thoughts that I have never expressed out loud to anyone. Sometimes the words will be on the tip of my tongue, but something always holds me back. I'm afraid of what it will sound like when I say it out loud, and I can almost hear the words laughing at me in my head. This masquerade is a game we all play, but really, who are we fooling?